A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”
(WriteGoodWire Services) CHICAGO – Cracks in Willis Tower’s clear glass Ledge have forced building officials to reconsider their latest tourist attraction, tentatively named “103-Story Rope Bridge of Doom, The Ride!”
Tower administrators insist that Skydeck visitors were never in danger when cracks appeared in the four glass boxes that extend just over four feet out from the skyscraper, about 1,350 feet above the city.
“The structural integrity was never compromised,” said Willis Tower Security Laminator Jerzy Blunt. “Observation enclosure technology is vastly improved since the prototypes we originally installed. Those employed a type of glass commonly used for Flintstones tumblers – the kind they give away at gas stations with a fill up.
“Those enclosures shattered all the time. A lot of tourists complained and a few were a little bit, you know, killed.”
Willis Tower Unveils New Thrill Experience. (Action Figures Not Included.)
The Rope Bridge of Doom is the latest example of buildings that strive to attract visitors by pairing the illusion of danger with the cost savings of shoddy architecture, such as SeaWorld’s Drownatorium and most Marriott Hotels.
“No matter how dangerous the Bridge appears to patrons, Willis Tower is confident that we’ve retained sufficient legal protection from them,” said Blunt.
“Oh, and for riders there are life vests, or something.”
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