A Write Good!: The News report
Write Good!: The News — “All the story, plus lies!”
(MONTREAL, CANADA) A decades-long international project to map the human brain has resulted in a highly detailed 3D digital “atlas” that will help medical researchers explore the hidden recesses of the brain while avoiding heavy traffic congestion and road repairs.
Due to the unique clarity of this digital model, dubbed BigBrain, researchers will have unprecedented access to regions of the brain affected by Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s diseases as well as those areas responsible for telepathy, Vulcan mind melding and Jedi mind tricks.
“BigBrain will provide extraordinary opportunities to travel and explore the innermost recesses of the brain,” said E. Allyn Parfait, director of the Canadian and European joint project. “And thanks to corporate sponsor GoogleMaps, we’ll cut our mileage in half and save gas.
“Or as our esteemed European counterparts would say, ‘petrol’.”
“We’re European; not British,” sneered the counterparts.

High resolution BigBrain image above reveals the human brain’s paired middle cerebellar peduncles as well as the quickest way to reach them via the southern portion of the Tri-state Tollway I-294 through Illinois.
Google has been an enthusiastic supporter of the BigBrain project, although developing a GoogleMaps application was far from simple.
“Our biggest challenge was to seamlessly interface with this enormously valuable medical tool, yet still offer pop-up ads touting ‘one weird tip for belly loss,’” said Jairam Bhagwat, GoogleMap’s 19-, maybe 20-year-old Planetary Executive Director, speaking from aboard his Segway at Google’s multi-level ping-pongatorium.
In addition to ultra-high resolution digital images, BigBrain/GoogleMaps will offer researchers a view of someone’s brain from 50,000 feet above as well as a street view.
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very, very funny!
Thanks, Anony, if that is indeed your name, although I have my doubts. dj
I’m in a particularly cranky mood today, but this actually elicited an audible chuckle from me. Nice way to ruin a perfectly good snit!
My apologies, jd. In future I’ll strive for humor of a more somber and depressing nature. Hopefully that will boost book sales. Thanks for reading! dj