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Archive for May, 2015

With Birth of Royal, Thrilled Americans Ask, “So Is She, Like, Queen, or What?”

Posted in Humor, lifestyle, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 4, 2015| Leave a Comment »

A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices International) The happy news that Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a daughter – fourth in line for the throne – has Americans excitedly asking, “What’s a monarchy, again?”

“I watch Game of Thrones a lot. Is it like that?” asked Vivian Brunswick of DeKalb, Illinois, during the sparsely attended Royal Birth Celebration and Potluck at her church.

Lack of clarity over the makeup of the Royal Family, the purpose of the British monarchy, and the historical depth of the empire could be seen in the festive gathering. While some celebrants came costumed in crowns, scepters and royal vestments, many were dressed as Dr. Who or as members of The Beatles, a popular British singing group from the 1960s.

Americans have long remained Great Britain’s staunchest allies despite their feeling that the interactions of the Royal Family are intentionally confusing.

Outside St. Mary’s Hospital word of the royal birth delights Londoners as well as a confused American cheering on the Chicago Blackhawks.

Outside St. Mary’s Hospital word of the royal birth delights Londoners as well as a confused American cheering on the Chicago Blackhawks.

“I’ve watched every season of Downton Abbey. Yet the processes of a constitutional monarchy elude me,” said Jeffrey Starlin, a roofer from Cleveland, Ohio.

“So, Kate Middleton is married to Prince William. But she’s not a princess? That doesn’t seem fair,” said Starlin. “And why is she the Duchess of Cambridge? Does she run the whole school or just some departments?”

“I’m happy for them, of course. But it feels like they’re pranking us,” admitted Sarah Daston of Seattle, Washington. “That’s why I would never buy British products, if they made any.”

Meanwhile, as Great Britain eagerly awaited announcement of the newborn princess’ name, many Americans wonder what the Hell kind of parents don’t immediately name their child?

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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Fight Canceled as Pacquiao, Mayweather Reach Tentative Accord

Posted in Humor, Sports, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2015| Leave a Comment »

A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) Mere hours before open hostilities could break out between Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Manny Pacquiao, the two aggressors have reached a shaky, but peaceful truce negotiated by Secretary of State John Kerry.

“Many details remain to be worked out. But for now, all provocative actions as well as Friday’s official pre-fight weigh-in have been postponed indefinitely,” Kerry said at a news conference at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.

“An international team of diplomats from both sides have agreed to return to the negotiating table as soon as they cash out from the craps table,” he said.

John Kerry negotiates with Pacquiao, Mayweather to avert nuclear proliferation and slightly higher pay-per-view rate.

John Kerry negotiates with Pacquiao, Mayweather to avert nuclear proliferation and slightly higher pay-per-view rate.

The highly anticipated confrontation between Mayweather and Pacquiao has been lauded as “the fight of the century” by boxing fans, and denounced as “the single greatest national security threat to the United States” by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas).

“This is nothing less than a replay of Clinton’s failed North Korea talks and the Mike Tyson versus Buster Douglas debacle,” said Cruz.

“I dropped a bundle on both!”

Among the issues still dividing the two sides are concerns over Mayweather’s history of domestic abuse and Pacquiao’s potential export of fissionable materials to Russia.

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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