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(WriteGoodNewsServices) Washington, DC, March 31 – Security remained tight at the opening of a two-day conference on nuclear proliferation, with international leaders anxious that Donald Trump might attend.

“He’s not going to be here, is he? ‘Cause girl! He cra-cra!” said South Korean President Park Geun-hye, through an interpreter.

Before deplaning, cautious nuclear summit attendee anxiously scans tarmac for signs of Trump

Before deplaning, cautious nuclear summit attendee anxiously scans tarmac for signs of Trump

While President Obama hopes the summit will refocus global attention on nuclear security, attendees candidly admitted that more important is to “not get into a whole thing with Trump.”

“Look, let’s just agree to stuff all the fissionable materials in a closet somewhere. Put a really good lock on the door and double the guard,” suggested Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, repeatedly glancing over his shoulder.

“So are we done here?”

Russia declined to attend the summit amid escalated tensions with the United States. But Kremlin insiders admit that Russian President Vladimir Putin simply wants to avoid hearing a wild rant from Trump about “why it’s good policy to sit on the floor banging atomic warheads with a mallet. Or something like that.”

While Trump seemed content not to attend today’s conference, he suggested during a Wisconsin campaign rally that nuclear missiles worldwide be immediately targeted at women’s reproductive organs.

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) Mere hours before open hostilities could break out between Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Manny Pacquiao, the two aggressors have reached a shaky, but peaceful truce negotiated by Secretary of State John Kerry.

“Many details remain to be worked out. But for now, all provocative actions as well as Friday’s official pre-fight weigh-in have been postponed indefinitely,” Kerry said at a news conference at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.

“An international team of diplomats from both sides have agreed to return to the negotiating table as soon as they cash out from the craps table,” he said.

John Kerry negotiates with Pacquiao, Mayweather to avert nuclear proliferation and slightly higher pay-per-view rate.

John Kerry negotiates with Pacquiao, Mayweather to avert nuclear proliferation and slightly higher pay-per-view rate.

The highly anticipated confrontation between Mayweather and Pacquiao has been lauded as “the fight of the century” by boxing fans, and denounced as “the single greatest national security threat to the United States” by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas).

“This is nothing less than a replay of Clinton’s failed North Korea talks and the Mike Tyson versus Buster Douglas debacle,” said Cruz.

“I dropped a bundle on both!”

Among the issues still dividing the two sides are concerns over Mayweather’s history of domestic abuse and Pacquiao’s potential export of fissionable materials to Russia.

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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Write Good!: The News goes international!

Well, Canada. Still, you need a passport.

Read the latest news from Write Good! appearing on The Sage, “Canada’s Best Source of Opinion & Misleading News.”

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