A Write Good!: The News report
Write Good!: The News — “All the story, plus lies!”
(CHICAGO) In the wake of the Chicago Sun-Times lay off of its entire photography staff as it seeks to reach a more “digitally savvy” audience, the newspaper continued that bold campaign Monday by sacking all of its reporters and eliminating the use of vowels in news stories.
“Just as photography has given way to video content in meeting the demands of our digitally savvy audiences, the rapid pace of news has outstripped the Sun-Times’ need for slow-moving reporters, with all their phone calls and ‘reliable sources’ and fact checking,” according to a statement from the newspaper.
“Plus all their loud typing and the coffee stains everywhere – it drives us crazy!”
To combine news gathering efficiency with enhanced multimedia content, reporters will be replaced with the Sun-Times newspaper delivery staff equipped with iPhones.
“Those kids on their bikes go everywhere. They probably see lots of news. Real stuff, too. Not just politics and all that overseas crap,” said Dolph Flagin, former assistant delivery dispatcher and now Sun-Times managing editor. “They can cover a story, write it, make a video, then fling it at your door all at the same time. They’ll even write those editorials, I’ll bet. They’re always giving me their opinions.
“Bunch’a loudmouths,” Flagin added.
New Sun-Times reporter covering pro-evil conference takes notes, writes story, shoots video, folds newspaper, then flings on doorstep. (Photo courtesy of same reporter.)
“How many letters are really needed to convey a thought? Has Wheel of Fortune taught us nothing?” said Derrick Fn of the Poynter Institute for Media Studies.
While traditional new gathering concerns itself with questions of Who? What? When? Where? and Why?, the Sun-Times fledging reporting staff will bolster efficiency by only focusing on “Who?” and “When?”
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