A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”
(WriteGood!WireServices) – New White House security measures that run the gamut for technologically sophisticated to magical have been implemented to safeguard President Barrack Obama from Halloween trick-or-treaters.
“While we aren’t anticipating trouble from the neighborhood kids this year, we are prepared to take lethal action. In fact, we look forward to it,” explained interim U.S. Secret Service Director Rocky “Ace” Butane.
Trick-or-treater and potential White House intruder Timmy Madison, 8 and an octopus, shown here moments before being wrestled to the ground and disarmed of his Hershey bar.
The significant security upgrades come amid revelations that an armed intruder who jumped the White House fence and entered the Executive Mansion last month penetrated far deeper than first disclosed by the Secret Service. Agency officials claimed he had been subdued just inside the entrance.
However, during a contentious Capitol Hill hearing about the breach it was revealed that the intruder tried to enter the Green Room – a parlor often used for formal teas – then moved on to the White House kitchen, where he made himself a turkey sandwich with jack cheese, lettuce and light mayonnaise before walking the Obama family dog Bo who, apparently, isn’t worth shit.
Butane discounted allegations that the intruder also watched pro football in the East Room with several agents before being captured.
“That’s absurd! There was no game on that night,” said Butane.
That day of rancorous questioning on the Hill led to the resignation of Julia Pierson as head of the Secret Service. The new, more aggressive, if somewhat unorthodox, White House security measures, have been implemented by incoming Secret Service director Wile E. Coyote.
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Write Good!: The Blog 
sooo clever! What’sup with the tiger?
Thanks for reading, Bev. As for the tiger, it’s not real, of course, but rather is three police dogs dressed as a tiger. dj
Rocky “Ace” Butane! My hero!
Glad no one from the govt was monitoring this pic.
Had it sent up red flags, you’d be hauled away under the guise of white house security…buried in a pit somewhere,,,never to be heard from again!
Thank you for your comment. However, Mr. Jaffe is no longer at liberty to respond thanks to rapid governmental intervention. Our department is currently evaluating whether his blog post was funny. Please be patient as such a determination can take 10 – 12 weeks. Or, in the case of Mr. Jaffe’s writing, longer. dj