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Posts Tagged ‘Obama’
DACA Dogs
Posted in Humor, Sleeping Between Giants, tagged congress, DACA, dogs, dreamers, immigrants, Obama, puppies, Trump on September 13, 2017| Leave a Comment »
For Dogs, A Giant Health Care Problem
Posted in Humor, Sleeping Between Giants, tagged Clinton, congress, Democrat, dogs, election, GOP, health care, healthcare, legislation, Obama, Obamacare, Republican, Trump on July 21, 2017| Leave a Comment »
While Americans worry over the plight of affordable health care, their dogs are more anxious than they’ve been since the Great Bacon Rebellion of 1890.
Dogs, of course, aren’t concerned for themselves, but for us, their Giants. As socially cooperative pack animals, they long ago solved their health care challenges through a system of eating grass, then throwing up. Coincidentally, a similar measure for humans is being considered by Congress, although it would eliminate many grasslands and restrict where the insured could puke.
Read more on our litter-mate blog, Sleeping between Giants.
Election Night Jitters
Posted in Sleeping Between Giants, tagged Clinton, Democrat, election, GOP, Obama, president, Republican, terrier, Trump, White House on November 8, 2016| Leave a Comment »
Click the panel to read the entire comic strip at the new Sleeping between Giants blog!
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Explosive Trump Recalled by Samsung
Posted in Humor, politics, tagged Clinton, congressional, Democrat, election, GOP, Obama, president, recall, Republican, Samsung, Senate, smartphone, Trump on October 18, 2016| Leave a Comment »
By Dave Jaffe
(WriteGood!TheNews wire service) — Highly volatile Donald Trump has been recalled by Samsung at the urging of GOP leaders who fear for the party’s safety.
“Cynics charge that this action is merely to protect Republicans in tight House and Senate races,” said GOP Strategist and Fire Inspector Rocky ‘Ace’ Butane. “But it’s really for the safety of women and children.
“Particularly the women.”
Volatile Donald Trump now poses safety threat to own private jet.
South Korean industrial giant Samsung recently recalled their popular Galaxy 7 Note smartphones due to combusting batteries. But why the GOP would urge that company to recall Trump is unclear, except that South Korea “is really, really far away,” explained Butane.
Republican vice presidential candidate Mike Pence was quick to defend his running mate, charging that Hillary Clinton repeatedly failed to deploy side impact air bags at speeds above 45 miles per hour.
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COMING SOON! Look for the premier of Sleeping between Giants, a blog that explores life – if you could call it that – with a terrier. Great fun for dogs that can read!
Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.
Trump on National Security Briefing: ‘You Wouldn’t Believe What’s in Area 51!’
Posted in politics, tagged Area 51, Clinton, Democrat, election, GOP, intelligence, Obama, president, presidential, Russia, security, threats, Trump, White House on August 18, 2016| Leave a Comment »
By Dave Jaffe
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA (WriteGood!TheNews wire service) — Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump’s first classified intelligence briefing has validated nearly every conspiracy theory ever, the candidate said today.
Speaking at a rally in North Carolina, Trump hinted that the briefing, traditionally given to presidential nominees, revealed shocking, long-held secrets, but he refused to discuss details.
“Obama? I thought he was born in another country,” said Trump. “Seems I was off by about 25,000 light years. Unbelievable!
“And crooked Hillary’s missing emails? I got news for you folks. There’s more hidden in Area 51 than alien corpses. Believe me!”
Claims of Area 51 ‘secrets’ were decried by Clinton supporter and Roswell Project director S’Rin “Larry” B’Tll. “Trump should just shut his big, fat primary reticulated ovipositor!”
Among other top secrets the candidate mentioned:
• Putin from same alternative universe as bearded Spock
• No treasure map on back of U.S. Constitution
• Drones now building us
• The Mole People are benevolent, just worried
• Hydrox are Oreos
• Rosebud was the sled.
Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton will receive a similar briefing, although hers must be conducted at night, Trump learned.
“They know she’s a vampire. Totally undead. Totally!”
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Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.
Britain Brexits! Trump to Extend Wall
Posted in Humor, politics, tagged Brexit, Britain, Cameron, E.U., EU, European, golf, Great Britain, Ireland, Obama, pound, presidential, Scotland, Trump, UK, Vote on June 24, 2016| 1 Comment »
By Dave Jaffe
TURNBERRY, SCOTLAND (WriteGood!TheNews wire service)—Crediting himself for leading British voters to cut ties with the European Union, Donald Trump vowed to extend his proposed wall between the United States and Mexico to include the United Kingdom.
As part of Trump’s revised immigration plan, the wall along the US-Mexico border would extend across the Atlantic Ocean, through the North Sea and encircle the UK.
“And Mexico’s going to pay for that, too,” said the presumptive GOP presidential candidate. “Also my trip to Scotland.”
Trump’s latest proposed wall, while a potential hazard to shipping, provides security against immigrants, including migrating sea turtles.
During a tour of his golf courses that coincided with the historic vote, Trump acknowledged British voters for supporting his decision to devastate the EU, throw financial markets into chaos, and herald the resignation of the prime minister.
“I arrived here. You voted. And together we took back my country. My golf course!” said Trump.
Reminded that the UK is not part of the US, Trump fired Scotland.
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Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.
Opinion(s): How the Dogs Are Voting
Posted in Humor, Sleeping Between Giants, tagged ASPCA, breed, Democrat, dog, election, GOP, Hillary, Obama, park, political, politics, president, Republican, Sanders, Trump on June 14, 2016| 1 Comment »
By Dave Jaffe
When it comes to political campaigns, dogs pay no attention to the news media, except for Wolf Blitzer whose name, they complain, is misleading.
However, dogs are heavily influenced by their Giants. In recent weeks, pets’ political discussions at the local dog park have grown so snarling, biting, contradictory and tail-chasing as to be indistinguishable from Fox News.
At the dog park, political discussions inevitably reduce to pissing matches. But so does everything.
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “…which is why I get a lot of knots, especially on my ears and neck, so that’s when I’ll bring her the comb, but sometimes she needs more than the comb because what I really need is a good brushing. So then I go get—ˮ
PUG: “The brush! Yeah, I get it! We all get it! Give it a rest!”
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: (Ears and tail droop.) “My Giant says with Sanders, you won’t get to talk to me like that.”
PUG: “What’s ‘Sanders’?”
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “He’s friend to the downtrodden, my Giant says.”
SCHNOODLE: “What’s ‘Downtrodden’?”
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “It means when you’re pushed down. Like how my fur grows sometimes. That’s when I need to fetch—ˮ
PUG: “If he mentions that brush again, I’m gonna worry his haunch!”
SCHNOODLE: “What’s ‘Haunch’?”
TERRIER MUTT: “That’s who I’m for.”
PUG: “Who?”
TERRIER MUTT: “Haunch! My Giants say he’s gonna make America grape again!”
SCHNOODLE: “I’m hungry!”
DOBERMAN PINSCHER: “You mean Trump, not Haunch. My Giant—you know, the yell-y one?”
ALL: “We know!”
DOBERMAN PINSCHER: “Well, my Giant says Trump is gonna build a huge, beautiful wall. Not just one of those invisible fences. Boy, those spook me! Anyway, this wall’s gonna keep out certain…you know…breeds. (Nods at Chihuahua.) No offense meant.
CHIHUAHUA: “¡No hay problama!”
SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: “Maybe I’m for Sanders. My fur gets really downtrodden.”
GERMAN SHEPHERD: “You should be for Hillary. My Giant says lots of Giants are downtrodden and Hillary can bring them all together.”
SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: “Like herding? I’m good at herding.”
GERMAN SHEPHERD: “I guess.”
SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: “OK, then. Go Hillary!”
PUG: “We should take a poll!”
TERRIER MUTT: “A what, then?”
PUG: “That’s when the ear box rings during dinner but my Giants don’t answer because it’s ‘another damn poll!’ Then they yell about how ‘it’s none of their business who I support, and besides I hate them all!’ Then they give me a treat. And sometimes we take a walk.”
SCHNOODLE: “Polls sound great!”
TERRIER MUTT: “I’m for Hillary!”
GERMAN SHEPHERD: “Hillary.”
PUG: “OK! Sanders.”
DOBERMAN PINSCHER: “Trump.”
CHIHUAHUA: “¡No Hay Problema!”
SCHNOODLE: “Haunch!”
PUG: “There is no Haunch!”
SCHNOODLE: “Then who’s gonna make America grape again?”
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “Beats me! But I know we’re not supposed to eat grapes.”
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This article is part of “Sleeping Between Giants”, an ongoing series featured on the Write Good!: The Blog blog.
Sleeping Between Giants explores life – if you can call it that – with a terrier.
Your feedback is welcome, probably. dj
Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.
World Leaders Attending Nuclear Summit Worried Trump Will Show Up
Posted in Humor, politics, tagged disarmament, global, nuclear, Obama, Putin, Russia, security, stockpile, summit, terror, Trump, weapons on March 31, 2016| 2 Comments »
(WriteGoodNewsServices) Washington, DC, March 31 – Security remained tight at the opening of a two-day conference on nuclear proliferation, with international leaders anxious that Donald Trump might attend.
“He’s not going to be here, is he? ‘Cause girl! He cra-cra!” said South Korean President Park Geun-hye, through an interpreter.
Before deplaning, cautious nuclear summit attendee anxiously scans tarmac for signs of Trump
While President Obama hopes the summit will refocus global attention on nuclear security, attendees candidly admitted that more important is to “not get into a whole thing with Trump.”
“Look, let’s just agree to stuff all the fissionable materials in a closet somewhere. Put a really good lock on the door and double the guard,” suggested Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, repeatedly glancing over his shoulder.
“So are we done here?”
Russia declined to attend the summit amid escalated tensions with the United States. But Kremlin insiders admit that Russian President Vladimir Putin simply wants to avoid hearing a wild rant from Trump about “why it’s good policy to sit on the floor banging atomic warheads with a mallet. Or something like that.”
While Trump seemed content not to attend today’s conference, he suggested during a Wisconsin campaign rally that nuclear missiles worldwide be immediately targeted at women’s reproductive organs.
Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.
Reeling GOP Frustrated Over Lack of Negative Emojis
Posted in Courts, Humor, politics, tagged congress, gay, GOP, health care, insurance, Kennedy, lgbt, liberal, marriage, Obama, Obamacare, presidential, Republican, Roberts, Scalia on July 1, 2015| 3 Comments »
A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”
(WriteGood!WireServices) In the wake of liberal-leaning Supreme Court rulings that support same-sex marriage and Obamacare, Republican party leaders are decrying the scarcity of negative emojis that adequately express their anger.
“‘OMG’ just isn’t cutting it,” complained House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH). “Frankly,the sadface, and even the grumpyface icons barely express the depths of my disappointment. Much of the fault must be placed on my conservative-bashing liberal iPhone.”
Republican National Committee Communications Chair Rocky “Ace” Butane previews GOP’s “Concept Emoji” slated for release in 2027.
Following the Court’s rulings, a host of GOP presidential hopefuls took to social media in an effort to rally the three or four conservative millennials who follow them.
One of the strongest repudiations of the same-sex marriage ruling came from former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee who warned on his website that the country “must resist and reject judicial tyranny, not retreat.”
“I said as much to my Twitter follower using hashtag ‘must-resist-and-reject-judicial-tyranny,-not-retreat’, followed by a soccer ball and a kitty. Oh yeah, he got it!”
Other Republican candidates were not so successful.
“How can a frowning face with a single tear express the complete failure of Bush-appointed Supreme Court Justice Roberts?” questioned Donald Trump. “Most people use that icon to tell friends they didn’t like their lunch taco.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with tacos. I love the Mexican people,” Trump added.
Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.
Out of Food, Short on Gas, Depression-era Hillary Clinton Trudges from Dust Bowl Iowa Toward New Hampshire
Posted in Humor, politics, tagged campaign, candidacy, Clinton, Democrat, GOP, Hillary, Iowa, New Hampshire, Obama, presidential, primary, Republican, State, voter, White House on April 20, 2015| Leave a Comment »
A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”
(WriteGood!WireServices) Hillary Clinton’s struggle to land a job ran into more difficulties this week when her old truck packed with all the family’s belongings “just gived out” near Monticello, Iowa.
“She’s still runnin’, just gotta dump some baggage,” explained Clinton spokesman Rocky Butane, quickly adding, “I mean the truck! Baggage from the truck!”
Jubilant, energized Hillary Clinton greets Dust Bowl refugees, withered crops, dead livestock as 2016 presidential campaign limps across Midwest.
Last week, the former first lady, senator and secretary of state launched her latest attempt to find work – this time as president of the United States – with a long trek across a dust-choked, barren Iowa in an overloaded campaign panel truck referred to as the Hi-I’m-Hillary-and-I’m-Running-for-President-or-Bust Express.
“I’m hitting the road to earn your vote. Because it’s your time. And I hope you’ll join me on this journey,” Clinton told a group of five or six itinerant migrant workers huddled for warmth around a burning barrel beside the road. After chatting with Clinton, they helped fix her truck’s engine, then passed the hat, raising nearly $2 for her campaign. Clinton eagerly stuffed the bills into an empty coffee can on the dashboard.
“She’s plucky, I’ll give her that,” admitted one of the group. “But there ain’t no work ‘round here. No work, nowhere, I heared.
“Maybe in New Hampshire. But if she’s headed there, watch out for them Republican presidential hopefuls. Mean as a railroad dick. ‘Specially that little Rand Paul. He’s bat shit crazy!”
Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.davejaffecomm.com is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.
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