Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘congress’

While Americans worry over the plight of affordable health care, their dogs are more anxious than they’ve been since the Great Bacon Rebellion of 1890.

Dogs, of course, aren’t concerned for themselves, but for us, their Giants. As socially cooperative pack animals, they long ago solved their health care challenges through a system of eating grass, then throwing up. Coincidentally, a similar measure for humans is being considered by Congress, although it would eliminate many grasslands and restrict where the insured could puke.

Read more on our litter-mate blog, Sleeping between Giants.

Read Full Post »

Budleigh and Brisby review the latest healthcare plan, because everyone gets sick and many have fur.

Who will bark for the voiceless?

Get the latest about the world, dogs, the world of dogs, whirled dogs, and stock tips at our litter-mate blog,
Sleeping Between Giants!

Read Full Post »

the-allegory-continues-for-write-good(Singing) “Which side are you oooon….”

Read and subscribe to our litter-mate blog, Sleeping between Giants.

Mammals everywhere will be grateful!

Read Full Post »

A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) In the wake of liberal-leaning Supreme Court rulings that support same-sex marriage and Obamacare, Republican party leaders are decrying the scarcity of negative emojis that adequately express their anger.

“‘OMG’ just isn’t cutting it,” complained House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH). “Frankly,the sadface, and even the grumpyface icons barely express the depths of my disappointment. Much of the fault must be placed on my conservative-bashing liberal iPhone.”

Republican National Committee Communications Chair Rocky “Ace” Butane Previews GOP’s “Concept Emoji” slated for release in 2027.

Republican National Committee Communications Chair Rocky “Ace” Butane previews GOP’s “Concept Emoji” slated for release in 2027.

Following the Court’s rulings, a host of GOP presidential hopefuls took to social media in an effort to rally the three or four conservative millennials who follow them.

One of the strongest repudiations of the same-sex marriage ruling came from former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee who warned on his website that the country “must resist and reject judicial tyranny, not retreat.”

“I said as much to my Twitter follower using hashtag ‘must-resist-and-reject-judicial-tyranny,-not-retreat’, followed by a soccer ball and a kitty. Oh yeah, he got it!”

Other Republican candidates were not so successful.

“How can a frowning face with a single tear express the complete failure of Bush-appointed Supreme Court Justice Roberts?” questioned Donald Trump. “Most people use that icon to tell friends they didn’t like their lunch taco.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with tacos. I love the Mexican people,” Trump added.

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

Read Full Post »

A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) Washington, D.C. – Announcing that Ashton Carter will replace outgoing Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel, President Barack Obama also praised other candidates who, although passed over, were “both qualified and scary.”

After extolling Carter for his 30-years federal service and in-depth understanding of the defense department’s inner workings, President Obama acknowledged the powerful skill sets offered by the other potential nominees.

“Some are despots, some are imaginary, at least one is Russian. But all are deeply loyal Americans. Well, not the Russian,” said the President, referring to Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Candidates for top defense post thank President Obama, vow to band together as Legion of Secretaries of Defense of Doom

Candidates for top defense post thank President Obama, vow to band together as Legion of Secretaries of Defense of Doom

Capitol Hill insiders speculate that Putin was included only because of his strong, unapologetic military stance and that he eats babies.

Also considered for the top defense post:
• Mothra
• Mike Ditka
• Jimmy’s uncle’s pit bull mix
• Lex Luther
• Dalek Prime
• The Joker
• Dark Ghandi
• A really big bomb.

President Obama noted that Carter, a physicist-trained weapons expert and former No. 2 Pentagon official, is better equipped than any other candidate to face the nation’s dire global challenges despite his lack of even the most basic superhuman powers, except for an indestructible, fusion-driven titanium hand.

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.davejaffecomm.com is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

Read Full Post »

A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) – Elated over the Republican sweep in the midterm elections, Sen. Mitch McConnell vowed that reconciliation with Democrats is assured provided that “they, and all Americans, follow my instructions.”

“To the letter!” emphasized McConnell during a news conference held at the rubble-strewn site of what was once the Lincoln Memorial. That national monument was razed in the early hours following Tuesday’s election returns in order to “make a statement”, according to a brief news release from the Republican National Committee.

The terse announcement read in full, “We have destroyed the Lincoln Memorial to make a statement.” The release was unsigned except for a burning skull.

GOP leaders greet new senators: Republicans in red battle skirts, Democrats in blue.

GOP leaders greet new senators: Republicans in red battle skirts, Democrats in blue.

McConnell, who will be promoted to majority leader as a result of last Tuesday’s elections, brushed off reporters insistent questions with a casual, “Seize them!” Security personal, uncharacteristically dressed in Roman legionnaire regalia, quickly cleared the room, except for a Fox News journalist.

Republicans have been quick to voice their willingness to reach accord with President Obama on a range of legislative and policy issues. However, they are already refining their agenda with new items that might prove contentious, including:

• Americans must regurgitate all medications taken since the Affordable Care Act became law.
• Strengthen US-Mexico border with a fence made of illegal immigrants glued together.
• Nuke yet-to-be-identified bastards back to the Stone Age.
• Obey Koch Industries.
• Cancel Christmas.
• Kneel before Zod!

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.davejaffecomm.com is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

Read Full Post »

A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) – New White House security measures that run the gamut for technologically sophisticated to magical have been implemented to safeguard President Barrack Obama from Halloween trick-or-treaters.

“While we aren’t anticipating trouble from the neighborhood kids this year, we are prepared to take lethal action. In fact, we look forward to it,” explained interim U.S. Secret Service Director Rocky “Ace” Butane.

Trick-or-treater and potential White House intruder Timmy Madison, 8 and an octopus, shown here moments before being wrestled to the ground and disarmed of his Hershey bar.

Trick-or-treater and potential White House intruder Timmy Madison, 8 and an octopus, shown here moments before being wrestled to the ground and disarmed of his Hershey bar.

The significant security upgrades come amid revelations that an armed intruder who jumped the White House fence and entered the Executive Mansion last month penetrated far deeper than first disclosed by the Secret Service. Agency officials claimed he had been subdued just inside the entrance.

However, during a contentious Capitol Hill hearing about the breach it was revealed that the intruder tried to enter the Green Room – a parlor often used for formal teas – then moved on to the White House kitchen, where he made himself a turkey sandwich with jack cheese, lettuce and light mayonnaise before walking the Obama family dog Bo who, apparently, isn’t worth shit.

Butane discounted allegations that the intruder also watched pro football in the East Room with several agents before being captured.

“That’s absurd! There was no game on that night,” said Butane.

That day of rancorous questioning on the Hill led to the resignation of Julia Pierson as head of the Secret Service. The new, more aggressive, if somewhat unorthodox, White House security measures, have been implemented by incoming Secret Service director Wile E. Coyote.

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.davejaffecomm.com is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

%d bloggers like this: