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A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) In the wake of liberal-leaning Supreme Court rulings that support same-sex marriage and Obamacare, Republican party leaders are decrying the scarcity of negative emojis that adequately express their anger.

“‘OMG’ just isn’t cutting it,” complained House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH). “Frankly,the sadface, and even the grumpyface icons barely express the depths of my disappointment. Much of the fault must be placed on my conservative-bashing liberal iPhone.”

Republican National Committee Communications Chair Rocky “Ace” Butane Previews GOP’s “Concept Emoji” slated for release in 2027.

Republican National Committee Communications Chair Rocky “Ace” Butane previews GOP’s “Concept Emoji” slated for release in 2027.

Following the Court’s rulings, a host of GOP presidential hopefuls took to social media in an effort to rally the three or four conservative millennials who follow them.

One of the strongest repudiations of the same-sex marriage ruling came from former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee who warned on his website that the country “must resist and reject judicial tyranny, not retreat.”

“I said as much to my Twitter follower using hashtag ‘must-resist-and-reject-judicial-tyranny,-not-retreat’, followed by a soccer ball and a kitty. Oh yeah, he got it!”

Other Republican candidates were not so successful.

“How can a frowning face with a single tear express the complete failure of Bush-appointed Supreme Court Justice Roberts?” questioned Donald Trump. “Most people use that icon to tell friends they didn’t like their lunch taco.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with tacos. I love the Mexican people,” Trump added.

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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A Write Good!: The News report
Write Good!: The News — “All the story, plus lies!

A San Diego County Superior Court has rejected a claim that teaching yoga in schools is an effort to promote Eastern religion. However, the court also noted that Christianity, Judaism and other faiths are not necessarily part of a heart-healthy fitness program.

The court ruled that the yoga instruction in the Encinitas Union School District does not violate the First Amendment’s separation of church and state. Equally important, however, is that few of the world’s principal religions guarantee a firmer butt or the reduction of unwanted belly fat, with the exception of Orthodox P90Xtheism.

“Take Judaism, for example,” wrote the court. “Have you any idea what’s in a good noodle kugel? Butter, sour cream, eggs, cream cheese – That’ll get you an expedited judgment from the Almighty!”

Biblical figure instructs yoga students in advanced pose “bending crane parts Red Sea.”  Original image courtesy White River Yoga.

Biblical figure instructs yoga students in advanced pose “bending crane parts Red Sea.” Original image courtesy White River Yoga.

According to the ruling, the district took several steps to distance its program from the Hindu religion on which yoga is based, stripped classes of all cultural references and even renaming iconic poses like the “lotus position” as the more neutral “water board brain cleansing indoctrination”.

But Vance Hegworth, attorney for the disgruntled – possibly overweight – parents who brought the suit, called the verdict “a tragic defeat for the Constitution, religious freedom and pilates!”

Spokespersons for the school district refused to comment, but in a prepared statement their dark master, Lord Zumba said, “This is a victory not just for the First Amendment, but for the children. Yeesssss, the children. The young, impressionable, easily-manipulated children. Yeessssssss…..!”

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.davejaffecomm.com is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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