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Posts Tagged ‘Republican’

Budleigh and Brisby review the latest healthcare plan, because everyone gets sick and many have fur.

Who will bark for the voiceless?

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Sleeping Between Giants!

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Click the panel to read the entire comic strip at the new Sleeping between Giants blog!

And subscribe to Sleeping between Giants so you never miss a post. Unless I don’t write one.

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IT’S COMING!

Sleeping between Giants, my blog about life, if you could call it that, with a terrier will go live soon.

Chockablock with my essays, cartoons, Ask a Terrier advice column and more, Sleeping between Giants promises to be the Internet’s most entertaining arrangement of pixels ever!

Check back here for updates!

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By Dave Jaffe

(WriteGood!TheNews wire service) — Highly volatile Donald Trump has been recalled by Samsung at the urging of GOP leaders who fear for the party’s safety.

“Cynics charge that this action is merely to protect Republicans in tight House and Senate races,” said GOP Strategist and Fire Inspector Rocky ‘Ace’ Butane. “But it’s really for the safety of women and children.

“Particularly the women.”

Volatile Donald Trump now poses safety threat to own private jet.

Volatile Donald Trump now poses safety threat to own private jet.

South Korean industrial giant Samsung recently recalled their popular Galaxy 7 Note smartphones due to combusting batteries. But why the GOP would urge that company to recall Trump is unclear, except that South Korea “is really, really far away,” explained Butane.

Republican vice presidential candidate Mike Pence was quick to defend his running mate, charging that Hillary Clinton repeatedly failed to deploy side impact air bags at speeds above 45 miles per hour.

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COMING SOON! Look for the premier of Sleeping between Giants, a blog that explores life – if you could call it that – with a terrier. Great fun for dogs that can read!

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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We kinda welcome the media!
This strip is part of “Sleeping Between Giants“, an ongoing series featured on the Write Good!: The Blog blog.

Sleeping Between Giants explores life – if you can call it that – with a terrier.

Your feedback is welcome, probably. dj

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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By Dave Jaffe

When it comes to political campaigns, dogs pay no attention to the news media, except for Wolf Blitzer whose name, they complain, is misleading.

However, dogs are heavily influenced by their Giants. In recent weeks, pets’ political discussions at the local dog park have grown so snarling, biting, contradictory and tail-chasing as to be indistinguishable from Fox News.

At the dog park, political discussions inevitably reduce to pissing matches. But so does everything.

At the dog park, political discussions inevitably reduce to pissing matches. But so does everything.

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “…which is why I get a lot of knots, especially on my ears and neck, so that’s when I’ll bring her the comb, but sometimes she needs more than the comb because what I really need is a good brushing. So then I go get—ˮ

PUG: “The brush! Yeah, I get it! We all get it! Give it a rest!”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: (Ears and tail droop.) “My Giant says with Sanders, you won’t get to talk to me like that.”

PUG: “What’s ‘Sanders’?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “He’s friend to the downtrodden, my Giant says.”

SCHNOODLE: “What’s ‘Downtrodden’?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “It means when you’re pushed down. Like how my fur grows sometimes. That’s when I need to fetch—ˮ

PUG: “If he mentions that brush again, I’m gonna worry his haunch!”

SCHNOODLE: “What’s ‘Haunch’?”

TERRIER MUTT: “That’s who I’m for.”

PUG: “Who?”

TERRIER MUTT: “Haunch! My Giants say he’s gonna make America grape again!”

SCHNOODLE: “I’m hungry!”

DOBERMAN PINSCHER: “You mean Trump, not Haunch. My Giant—you know, the yell-y one?”

ALL: “We know!”

DOBERMAN PINSCHER: “Well, my Giant says Trump is gonna build a huge, beautiful wall. Not just one of those invisible fences. Boy, those spook me! Anyway, this wall’s gonna keep out certain…you know…breeds. (Nods at Chihuahua.) No offense meant.

CHIHUAHUA: “¡No hay problama!”

SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: “Maybe I’m for Sanders. My fur gets really downtrodden.”

GERMAN SHEPHERD: “You should be for Hillary. My Giant says lots of Giants are downtrodden and Hillary can bring them all together.”

SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: “Like herding? I’m good at herding.”

GERMAN SHEPHERD: “I guess.”

SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: “OK, then. Go Hillary!”

PUG: “We should take a poll!”

TERRIER MUTT: “A what, then?”

PUG: “That’s when the ear box rings during dinner but my Giants don’t answer because it’s ‘another damn poll!’ Then they yell about how ‘it’s none of their business who I support, and besides I hate them all!’ Then they give me a treat. And sometimes we take a walk.”

SCHNOODLE: “Polls sound great!”

TERRIER MUTT: “I’m for Hillary!”

GERMAN SHEPHERD: “Hillary.”

PUG: “OK! Sanders.”

DOBERMAN PINSCHER: “Trump.”

CHIHUAHUA: “¡No Hay Problema!”

SCHNOODLE: “Haunch!”

PUG: “There is no Haunch!”

SCHNOODLE: “Then who’s gonna make America grape again?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “Beats me! But I know we’re not supposed to eat grapes.”

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This article is part of “Sleeping Between Giants”, an ongoing series featured on the Write Good!: The Blog blog.

Sleeping Between Giants explores life – if you can call it that – with a terrier.

Your feedback is welcome, probably. dj

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) Days after SeaWorld announced it will stop breeding killer whales and cease theatrical shows featuring them, the theme park has quietly begun deporting its resident population of orcas.

GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump hailed the move, claiming, as he often does at campaign rallies, that orcas are “a pack of job-stealing illegal immigrant fish.”

SeaWorld was quick to refute Trump’s assertion, calling him “misinformed.”

“They aren’t fish, okay? And they swim in pods, not packs,” said SeaWorld Director of Public Apologies Rocky “Aquaman” Butane.

“Oh, and whose jobs are performing orcas ‘stealing’? Actors? What professional actor is willing to put on an orca suit, swim for hours, and leap in the air just for a chunk of frozen squid? Besides Nicholas Cage, I mean.”

Killer whales forced to flee SeaWorld leave behind irreplaceable family photos, home furnishings, and a fortune in krill.

Killer whales forced to flee SeaWorld leave behind irreplaceable family photos, home furnishings, and a fortune in krill.

However, Trump on the campaign trail continued to take credit for the mass exiles, telling supporters, “These deportations are just the beginning.”

“I gotta tell you, folks, they’re not just killer whales,” Trump said. “A lot of them are drug dealer whales and rapist whales.

“And the media’s so scared, they won’t say a word. Just like they don’t talk about illegal jellyfish, who they’re too politically correct to call Portuguese Man-of-Wars.

“Well, here’s some news, folks. My first day as president, all these Portuguese Man-of-Wars – gone! Back to Spain, along with their fat, ugly Portuguese Woman-of-Wars wives!”

Asked if Trump’s comments were further splintering an already disjointed GOP, Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus claimed he would not respond until he and his family were safely aboard their intergalactic escape ship and outside the orbit of Saturn.

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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