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Reeling GOP Frustrated Over Lack of Negative Emojis

Posted in Courts, Humor, politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2015| 3 Comments »

A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) In the wake of liberal-leaning Supreme Court rulings that support same-sex marriage and Obamacare, Republican party leaders are decrying the scarcity of negative emojis that adequately express their anger.

“‘OMG’ just isn’t cutting it,” complained House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH). “Frankly,the sadface, and even the grumpyface icons barely express the depths of my disappointment. Much of the fault must be placed on my conservative-bashing liberal iPhone.”

Republican National Committee Communications Chair Rocky “Ace” Butane Previews GOP’s “Concept Emoji” slated for release in 2027.

Republican National Committee Communications Chair Rocky “Ace” Butane previews GOP’s “Concept Emoji” slated for release in 2027.

Following the Court’s rulings, a host of GOP presidential hopefuls took to social media in an effort to rally the three or four conservative millennials who follow them.

One of the strongest repudiations of the same-sex marriage ruling came from former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee who warned on his website that the country “must resist and reject judicial tyranny, not retreat.”

“I said as much to my Twitter follower using hashtag ‘must-resist-and-reject-judicial-tyranny,-not-retreat’, followed by a soccer ball and a kitty. Oh yeah, he got it!”

Other Republican candidates were not so successful.

“How can a frowning face with a single tear express the complete failure of Bush-appointed Supreme Court Justice Roberts?” questioned Donald Trump. “Most people use that icon to tell friends they didn’t like their lunch taco.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with tacos. I love the Mexican people,” Trump added.

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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Tearful Indiana Tells Dr. Phil ‘I was Bullied into Enacting Religious Freedom Bill’

Posted in Humor, lifestyle, politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2015| 4 Comments »

A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”

(WriteGood!WireServices) In an appearance on Dr. Phil, a frightened, sobbing State of Indiana claimed it was pressured by bigger, older states into signing a controversial “religious freedom” bill.

“They…they said that all the cool states were enacting it,” Indiana told the Dr. Phil Show audience. “They said it would be easy. That it was no big deal and it wasn’t really hurting anybody. Well, maybe gays and stuff.”

“And was it ‘no big deal?’”, Dr. Phil pressed.

Indiana tells Dr. Phil religious freedom bill was misguided attempt to fit in with popular states, like Oregon, Maryland, and ‘that one that’s shaped like Zac Efron. God, he’s so cute!’

Indiana tells Dr. Phil religious freedom bill was misguided attempt to fit in with popular states, like Oregon, Maryland, and ‘that one that’s shaped like Zac Efron. God, he’s so cute!’

“No, the opposite! Everybody’s mad at me. Multinational Corporations are all, ‘Oooo, you suck!’ And people are getting all boycott-y. It’s not my fault. Don’t judge me!”

Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, who held the state’s trembling hand throughout the interview, cautioned against judging the bill as discriminatory against gays and lesbians until after he rules out a 2016 presidential run.

“And you know the N.C.A.A.?” sniffed Indiana, “We were going together to the Final Four in Indianapolis next week. Now he might cancel. And I really, really liked him.

“Stupid, stupid potentially discriminatory, socially conservative, Republican-led legislative measure!”

Coming up on The Dr. Phil Show: “I’m Carrying Arizona’s Baby!”

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.davejaffecomm.com is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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