A Write Good!: The News report — “All the story, plus lies!”
(WriteGood!WireServices) In an appearance on Dr. Phil, a frightened, sobbing State of Indiana claimed it was pressured by bigger, older states into signing a controversial “religious freedom” bill.
“They…they said that all the cool states were enacting it,” Indiana told the Dr. Phil Show audience. “They said it would be easy. That it was no big deal and it wasn’t really hurting anybody. Well, maybe gays and stuff.”
“And was it ‘no big deal?’”, Dr. Phil pressed.
Indiana tells Dr. Phil religious freedom bill was misguided attempt to fit in with popular states, like Oregon, Maryland, and ‘that one that’s shaped like Zac Efron. God, he’s so cute!’
“No, the opposite! Everybody’s mad at me. Multinational Corporations are all, ‘Oooo, you suck!’ And people are getting all boycott-y. It’s not my fault. Don’t judge me!”
Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, who held the state’s trembling hand throughout the interview, cautioned against judging the bill as discriminatory against gays and lesbians until after he rules out a 2016 presidential run.
“And you know the N.C.A.A.?” sniffed Indiana, “We were going together to the Final Four in Indianapolis next week. Now he might cancel. And I really, really liked him.
“Stupid, stupid potentially discriminatory, socially conservative, Republican-led legislative measure!”
Coming up on The Dr. Phil Show: “I’m Carrying Arizona’s Baby!”
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