A Write Good!: The News report
(WASHINGTON) In eleventh hour negotiations to steer clear of the looming “fiscal cliff”, congressional leaders are seeking advice from the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote – experts in similarly cartoonish precipice-related crises.
So far, calling on the risk management skills of misters Runner and Coyote is the only negotiation strategy that has received bipartisan support, admitted a solemn President Obama at an early Monday news conference held, uncharacteristically, in front of a huge, dark tunnel painted on a rock wall.
“Road Runner is particularly adroit at avoiding cliffs” said the president. “And Wile E. Coyote brings to the table a wealth of experience with crash landings – much like House Speaker Boehner,” he added before his remarks were drowned out by the horn of a locomotive approaching from behind.
Congressional leaders seek advice from fellow cartoon character.
Congressional leaders are well familiar with the potentially drastic results of falling off the fiscal cliff, noted a clearly frustrated Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.
“We’re facing major tax increases, automatic spending cuts, a freeze in unemployment benefits, and a proliferation of those little exploding model airplanes that keep landing on Wile E. Coyote and blowing up,” said McConnell. “God, I loved that cartoon!”
A failure by lawmakers to reach agreement by midnight tonight could threaten an already fragile economy, but will have a severe and adverse effect on every American, with the exception of workers at Acme factories nationwide.
Write Good!: The News is a money-losing subsidiary of Write Good!: The Blog.
This story is courtesy of Write Good!: The News – “All the story, plus lies!”
Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.davejaffecomm.com is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.
Write Good!: The Blog 