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Posts Tagged ‘breed’

Cautious to avoid red tape and complicated forms, prospective pet owners often steer clear of adopting shelter dogs.

However, the process is no more difficult than purchasing a pair of last season’s jeans that, without your intervention, would have been euthanized.

Read more at our litter-mate blog, Sleeping between Giants.

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final-panel-for-writegoodBudleigh and Brisby, protecting our tiniest borders!

Executive ordering dogs around

Read and subscribe to our litter-mate blog, Sleeping between Giants.

Share it with your friends, especially those with thick, lustrous fur!

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into-the-woods-final-for-write-goodThe latest on The Dogs Strip.

Which isn’t a dirty as it sounds.

Read and subscribe to our litter-mate blog, Sleeping between Giants.

It’s a belly rub for the soul!

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image-for-write-good-posting-550x440Happy holidays from our electronic soon-to-be Overlords!

Read and subscribe to our litter-mate blog, Sleeping between Giants.

Before it’s too late!

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oxford-and-penguin-resized-pixr
If you, like Bob Cratchit, were making rather merry on Christmas day, you maybe missed this bit of cheer on my Sleeping between Giants blog.

Sleeping between Giants explores life, if you could call it that, with a terrier.

Go! Read! Subscribe!

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By Dave Jaffe

When it comes to political campaigns, dogs pay no attention to the news media, except for Wolf Blitzer whose name, they complain, is misleading.

However, dogs are heavily influenced by their Giants. In recent weeks, pets’ political discussions at the local dog park have grown so snarling, biting, contradictory and tail-chasing as to be indistinguishable from Fox News.

At the dog park, political discussions inevitably reduce to pissing matches. But so does everything.

At the dog park, political discussions inevitably reduce to pissing matches. But so does everything.

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “…which is why I get a lot of knots, especially on my ears and neck, so that’s when I’ll bring her the comb, but sometimes she needs more than the comb because what I really need is a good brushing. So then I go get—ˮ

PUG: “The brush! Yeah, I get it! We all get it! Give it a rest!”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: (Ears and tail droop.) “My Giant says with Sanders, you won’t get to talk to me like that.”

PUG: “What’s ‘Sanders’?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “He’s friend to the downtrodden, my Giant says.”

SCHNOODLE: “What’s ‘Downtrodden’?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “It means when you’re pushed down. Like how my fur grows sometimes. That’s when I need to fetch—ˮ

PUG: “If he mentions that brush again, I’m gonna worry his haunch!”

SCHNOODLE: “What’s ‘Haunch’?”

TERRIER MUTT: “That’s who I’m for.”

PUG: “Who?”

TERRIER MUTT: “Haunch! My Giants say he’s gonna make America grape again!”

SCHNOODLE: “I’m hungry!”

DOBERMAN PINSCHER: “You mean Trump, not Haunch. My Giant—you know, the yell-y one?”

ALL: “We know!”

DOBERMAN PINSCHER: “Well, my Giant says Trump is gonna build a huge, beautiful wall. Not just one of those invisible fences. Boy, those spook me! Anyway, this wall’s gonna keep out certain…you know…breeds. (Nods at Chihuahua.) No offense meant.

CHIHUAHUA: “¡No hay problama!”

SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: “Maybe I’m for Sanders. My fur gets really downtrodden.”

GERMAN SHEPHERD: “You should be for Hillary. My Giant says lots of Giants are downtrodden and Hillary can bring them all together.”

SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: “Like herding? I’m good at herding.”

GERMAN SHEPHERD: “I guess.”

SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: “OK, then. Go Hillary!”

PUG: “We should take a poll!”

TERRIER MUTT: “A what, then?”

PUG: “That’s when the ear box rings during dinner but my Giants don’t answer because it’s ‘another damn poll!’ Then they yell about how ‘it’s none of their business who I support, and besides I hate them all!’ Then they give me a treat. And sometimes we take a walk.”

SCHNOODLE: “Polls sound great!”

TERRIER MUTT: “I’m for Hillary!”

GERMAN SHEPHERD: “Hillary.”

PUG: “OK! Sanders.”

DOBERMAN PINSCHER: “Trump.”

CHIHUAHUA: “¡No Hay Problema!”

SCHNOODLE: “Haunch!”

PUG: “There is no Haunch!”

SCHNOODLE: “Then who’s gonna make America grape again?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “Beats me! But I know we’re not supposed to eat grapes.”

###

This article is part of “Sleeping Between Giants”, an ongoing series featured on the Write Good!: The Blog blog.

Sleeping Between Giants explores life – if you can call it that – with a terrier.

Your feedback is welcome, probably. dj

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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By Dave Jaffe

Dogs use their teeth to explore the world much the way we use the Internet. A dog’s mouth and tongue serve as router and modem, while its excretory system works like Comcast.

Whether having teeth leads to chewing or chewing is the outcome of having teeth is a “chicken or the egg” paradox, although dogs will eat both so why are we even debating? Let’s instead focus on the reasons dogs chew my shoes and socks and, to a lesser extent, yours.

Chewing is a perfectly normal canine behavior. In fact, the word canine is Latin for “He ruined what?” Puppies and young dogs might chew to relieve teething pain. Older dogs chew to combat boredom, ease anxiety, or reduce frustration. Some chew simply as a way to prop up the international leather trade. Whatever the cause, to correct an inappropriate chewing behavior, the thoughtful canine owner must first ask, “He ruined what?”

Who chewed the shoes? Can you solve this Minute Mystery? For the answer, turn to page 159.

Who chewed the shoes? Can you solve this Minute Mystery? For the answer, turn to page 159.

So, what is “inappropriate” for dogs to chew? This varies from dog to dog depending on their size, age, and the dietary restrictions of their religion. However, generally banned items include:

• Shoes, socks
• Children
• The military
• Another shoe and sock, damn it!
• (For large dogs) aircraft engine parts before, during flight
• (For small dogs) large dogs
• Six of the current associate justices of the Supreme Court
• Cash, bonds
• Oh, for God’s sake! Another shoe and sock?

Some dogs can quickly learn to avoid forbidden items with just a bit of guidance, a few treats, and an instructional PowerPoint presentation. However, most dogs know exactly what they’re doing when, say, they chew up $75.85 in uncashed checks, as was the case with our formerly alive terrier thing, Oxford.

Giant 2 still insists it was a coincidence that Oxford ravaged four checks taken from four locations over five weeks. It’s was all just paper to him, she says. He didn’t know any better. He was just a dog!

No, he was a terrier. Some dogs track explosives. Others uncover drug caches. Terriers foment crime. Of course Oxford knew that checks were valuable. Dogs have a surprisingly keen understanding of the Federal Reserve. Also their own sophisticated monetary system based on tennis balls. But Oxford wasn’t after the money. His was a mission to corrupt young Brisby, the schnoodle who can do no wrong.

OXFORD: “Hey, kid. C’mere!”

BRISBY: “But I’m on my way to church, Oxford.”

OXFORD: “Sure, sure. You want ta’ see something?”

BRISBY: “I’m supposed to light candles!”

OXFORD: “Yeah, that can wait. (Noses envelope off desk.) Ever see one of these?”

BRISBY: “Is it a cookie?”

OXFORD: “That’s right, a cookie. But you gotta open it, first. Go on, open it!”

BRISBY: “Okay, Oxford! What’s ‘open?’”

OXFORD: “Oh, for… Gimme that!” (He shreds.)

BRISBY: “I have to go now or I’ll miss hymn howling.”

OXFORD: “Too late, kid. You’re in this as deep as me.”

BRISBY: “Do I still get a cookie?”

Next: Wait! Weren’t we talking about shoes and socks?

###

This article is part of “Sleeping Between Giants“, an ongoing series featured on the Write Good!: The Blog blog.

Sleeping Between Giants explores life – if you can call it that – with a terrier.

Your feedback is welcome, probably. dj

Permission to re-use this material for non-commercial purposes is granted provided that Dave Jaffe, www.writegoodtheblog.com, is appropriately credited as the author and source. Please feel free to link to this page.

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